“Whoa — Kerby — your feet don’t smell too good.”

“Oh, and YOUR armpit smells like RAINBOWS and UNICORNS.”

“Huh…That’s funny — I thought I bought mountain breeze,”

“Monkey???  Could you scoot over a bit?”

“There is a giant pillow on me — does it look like I can do anything???”

“Please — my arm is under you, and it’s falling asleep.”

“Well…at least something in this bed is.”

“Kerby…I’m s-o-o-o-o b-o-r-e-d.”

“Really?  I thought you were trying to show me what it was like to see with only one eye.”

“Humm…so…what’s it like?”

“Kind’a crappy.”

“Kerby, I love the pollo asado burritos

from La Fiesta Brava, but…”

“But what?”

“But — I forgot to take Beano before we ate.”

“OH…MY…GOSH!  S-T-O-P fanning it towards me!!!”

(RIP Samuel)

“Uhhhh Monkey?”

“Yea?”

“I know it might be bright in here, but that is just WRONG — On soooo many levels.”

“Ugh Monkey?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you get your beanie out of my mouth?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, it’s MY H-A-I-R!”

“Yeah, sure it is — Just like the socks on your hands and feet are really your fur.”

“Umph.”

“Yep, I’m pretty sure it says ‘LOVE’.”

“Are you sure Monkey?”

“Well, it’s a little blurry, but I see L-O-V-E.”

“Oh THANK GOD!  I was afraid it said H-A-T-E.”

“Nope — That’s how I feel about you — Hehe.”

“Kerby?”

“Gulp — y-e-s?”

“Did you use the last of the toilet paper?”

“Ummm, yes.”

“Did you put on a new roll?”

“I-m…n-o-t…s-u-r-e.”

“Kerby, do you know what happens when you don’t replace the roll?”

“Monkey gets angry?”

“Yes, he does; very very angry.”

“Seriously Monkey; your pimple is not THAT bad.”

“Where’s Mommy Monkey?”

“It will be alright Kerb; she’ll be home soon.”

“Umm, Monkey?”

“Yeah?”

“I know Daniel Tosh thinks surprise ‘trust falls’ are funny, but I’m kinda over them.  Plus, your butt is in my face.”

“Noted.”

“Noooooo Monkey, I h-a-a-y-t-e Property Virgins.”

“Well I’m tired of you always watching Law and Order reruns.”

“S-T-O-P-P-U-U-S-H-I-N-G-M-E-E-E-E-!”

“K-E-R-B-Y, Give ME the remote.”

“NO! I CAN’T stand Sandra Rinomato’s voice.”

“FINE!! Then, change it to the Golf Channel.”

“It’s either Lenny or your right eye.”

“Come closer and look into my eye.”

“Monkey, if you want Bay Cities just tell me.”

“You are getting sleepy, very very sleepy.”

“So…you want a large roast beef with horseradish cheddar, hot peppers, lettuce, tomatoes, and dressing?”

“Umm, yeah.”